A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.

The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to get out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back… ”

“Where are you going, coochy cooh?” asked the wife.

“I’m going to the bar, pretty face. I’m going to have a beer. ”

The wife said, “You want a beer, my love?”

She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, China, India, etc.

The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, loolie loolie…but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses…”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,

“You want a frozen glass, puppy face?”

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious…I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”

“You want hors d’oeuvres, poochi pooh?”

She opened the oven and took out 15 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

“But sweet honey… At the bar… You know… there’s swearing, dirty words and all that …”

“You want dirty words, Cutie pie?

….”THEN LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD! DRINK YOUR F**KING BEER IN YOUR GOD-DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHERF**KING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, A**HOLE?”

…..And, they lived happily ever after.

You are not alone!

Invest into your marriage “bank account”. You get more out of your marriage if you invest into it. Make a “deposit” each day with kindness, service and encouragement. You will experience a richer marriage as a result.

Surprise your wife with acts of kindness:

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• Continue to open doors for her
• Take her car for oil changes, gas fill-ups, and washes

Whether you are newly wed or married for years, busy lives can make going out a challenge, let alone going out with other people. However, making time with your spouse to connect with others is important. Spending time with different types of married couples helps bring new perspective to Your Marriage and affirms you are not alone in your marital ups and downs.

Woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted, ‘Excuse me sir, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don’t know where I am.’

The man below replied, ‘You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.’

‘You must be an engineer,’ said the lady balloonist.

‘I am’, replied the man. ‘How did you know?’

‘Well, answered the balloonist, ‘everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip even more.’

The man below responded, ‘You must be in management.’

‘I am,’ replied the lady balloonist, ‘but, how did you know?’

‘Well,’ said the man, ‘You don’t know where you are, or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air within. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you, to solve your problems, and you are prompt to blame others for your fate and stupid deeds!!!!!

Admitting you are wrong

A good engineer, like a good scientist, must at some point admit that he is wrong. This is very difficult to do — especially for mid- and late-career engineers who are a bit set in their ways. This is, in my opinion, I guess, a pride thing. And many senior engineers have spent their whole careers building up that reputation and pride. But what they may not understand is that it is important, and right, to admit when you are wrong and that act should bolster an engineer’s reputation, not mar it. Only those who would not, or cannot, admit errors who are the bad engineers.

So, do not fall into the same trap.

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Interesting article written by an Indian Economist, especially the last paragraph!

Many points, while debatable, are worth pondering. Here they go…………

Japanese save a lot. They do not spend much. Also, Japan exports far more than it imports. Has an annual trade surplus of over 100 billions.

Yet Japanese economy is considered weak, even collapsing.

Americans spend, save little. Also US imports more than it exports. Has an annual trade deficit of over $400 billion. Yet, the American economy is considered strong and trusted to get stronger. But where from do Americans get money to spend? They borrow from Japan , China and even India .

Virtually others save for the US to spend. Global savings are mostly invested in US, in dollars. India itself keeps its foreign currency assets of over $50 billions in US securities. China has sunk over $160 billion in US securities. Japan ‘s stakes in US securities is in trillions.

Result:

The US has taken over $5 trillion from the world. So, as the world saves for the US – Its The Americans who spend freely. Today, to keep the US consumption going, that is for the US economy to work, other countries have to remit $180 billion every quarterly, which is $2 billion a day, to the US !

A Chinese economist asked a neat question. Who has invested more, US in China , or China in US? The US has invested in China less than half of what China has invested in US.

The same is the case with India . We have invested in US over $50 billion. But the US has invested less than $20 billion in India .

(Then) Why the world is after US?

The secret lies in the American spending, that they hardly save. In fact they use their credit cards to spend their future income. That the US spends is what makes it attractive to export to the US . So US imports more than what it exports year after year.

The result:

The world is dependent on US consumption for its growth. By its culture of consumption, the US has habituated the world to do it. But as the US needs money to finance its consumption, the world provides the money. It’s like a shopkeeper providing the money to a customer so that the customer keeps buying from the shop.

(If) the customer will not buy, the shop won’t have business, unless the shopkeeper funds him. The US is like the lucky customer. And the world is like the helpless shopkeeper financier.

Who is America ‘s biggest shopkeeper financier? Japan of course.

Yet it’s Japan which is regarded as weak. Modern economists complain that Japanese do not spend, so they do not grow. To force the Japanese to spend, the Japanese government exerted itself, reduced the savings rates, even charged the savers. Even then the Japanese did not spend (habits don’t change, even with taxes, do they?). Their traditional postal savings alone is over $1.2 trillions, about three times the Indian GDP. Thus, savings, far from being the strength of Japan , has become its pain.

Hence, what is the lesson?

That is, a nation cannot grow unless the people spend, not save. Not just spend but be happy, and if need borrow and spend.

Dr. Jagdish Bhagwati, the famous Indian-born economist in the US , told Manmohan Singh that Indians wastefully save. Ask them to spend, on imported cars and, seriously, even on cosmetics! This will put India on a growth curve. This is one of the reason for MNC’s coming down to India , seeing the consumer spending.

‘Saving is sin, and spending is virtue.’

But before you follow this Neo economics, get some fools to save so that you can borrow from them and spend!!!

While there are different perspective on the issue but, the points are rather interesting and entertaining. Kudos!!

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